1. Show-and-tell for company profits

It’s a big week for the stock market, with some of the country’s most well-known businesses doing their profit show-and-tells for an army of investors who can make or break the stock prices of these companies. National Australia Bank, Westpac and ANZ provide trading updates, while we get half-year numbers from Coles, CSL, Cochlear, BHP, Fortescue, JB Hi-FI and a whole lot more. 19% of companies having reported so far, with 61% of those companies saying profits have risen compared to only 36% six months ago. Better-than-expected reports will drive share prices higher, which is good for our super fund returns.

2. Why does Bitcoin continue to surge higher?

The latest price for a bitcoin has hit $63,000, which is in record high territory. A year ago it was only $15,000. No one knows where this will end, with some experts thinking it goes to $100,000 by December, but that’s guesswork. AMP Capital’s chief economist, Shane Oliver says “while digital currencies likely have a future, it remains unclear whether it will be Bitcoin as opposed to something else or government provided currencies but  Bitcoin remains highly unstable making it an unreliable store of value.” If you  buy Bitcoin, it’s not investing — it’s gambling, and history says the best time to buy is when everyone is rejecting it.

3. ME Bank up for sale but who’ll be the new owner?

The bank owned by industry super funds, and therefore by a lot of trade unions, ME Bank, is being secretly auctioned off and soon might be owned not by its original members but BOQ or ANZ! The sale is being conducted by another banking name — Macquarie — and the AFR’s Street Talk column thinks that while ANZ is the bigger rival putting in the bids for ME Bank, BOQ might have the inside running. Why? The consumer watchdog, the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission (ACCC) might think any big four bank like ANZ swallowing up a smaller bank isn’t going to be great for competition. ANZ has 14.6% of home loans to consumers in Australia, while CBA has 25.9% and Westpac 22.5%.

4. 29 kilogram turnip sets new record

Damien Allard from Quebec, Canada has set the Guinness World Record for heaviest turnip with a weight of 29 kilograms, breaking the previous by over 11 kilograms. "There are eight billion of us on Earth. I'm the only one who managed to make a big turnip like that," Allard said at the turnip's weigh in according to CBC.

5. Wall Street up for the week

All three major US indexes closed 1% higher or more for the week. The Dow Jones moved 1.00% higher for the week to 31,458.40, the S&P 500 rose 1.23% to 3,934.83 and the Nasdaq gained 1.73% to 14,095.47.